I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness comes through the Law, then Christ died needlessly." Galations 2:20-21
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
I guess I just feel like my life is hold and that I am constantly living on standby. Thinking that any moment we can go into labor and everything has to be "just-so" just in case. I have been crazy making sure every dish is washed and every bit of laundry is washed. I have been ITCHING to do some fall baking, but the crazy person inside me says, "No! What if you start something and go into labor while it's cooking in the oven" or something like that. I am going nuts over here. I did manage to do a fall craft today to keep my mind off things. Maybe I'll post about that later.
It doesn't help that I can't nap because of all the house construction work noise on our street EVERY DAY FOR THE LAST THREE WEEKS! AND not to mention our tenant upstairs is a lover of generating noise. All day I hear his computer vibrating through the floor (because it is old and needs to be fixed but he won't fix it and I have to suffer). Yes, I have asked him to shut it off several times when he is not home or not using it, but he just "so forgetfull" he says. Yeah, I am ranting....and going crazy. CRAAAZZY! I need to get out of the house, but I am afraid to go too far for too long.
My midwives tell me I am a "loaded gun" and when things start going I better get over to the hospital fast. I am already 5cm and an hour away from the hospital. Any conventional doctor would have induced me for sure by now, but if the baby isn't ready then it isn't ready. No matter how much it is driving me crazy I want to do what is best for my baby, not give into my selfish desires.
So pray this baby is done cookin' soon! I know it won't get any easier when he/she arrives, but I really just want to move on and figure out how to do life as a family of four.
For now, I will just spend some time with my new addiction, Pinterest. I finally decided to jump on the bandwagon after many invites from friends. Now I just get depressed at all the fun crafts or yummy food I can't(err won't let myself) make until baby comes.
That's enough for now. Blah!