I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness comes through the Law, then Christ died needlessly." Galations 2:20-21
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Before I get right into it, I want to note that number four's pregnancy came as a surprise because we made our decision that we were content with our three little munkins. Emotionally, I came to terms with that, and mentally, I was looking forward to not being pregnant again. My pregnancies always start off with terrible "morning sickness". Lasting all day and night and didn't end until well into my second trimesters. Every smell, good and bad, takes me straight to the bathroom. When you have three other children to care for (diaper changes, meals, cleaning messes, etc.) it is close to living a nightmare. Not only was I sick, but getting pregnant with number four, was emotionally hard on me. I struggled with depression most of my pregnancy. Not for one moment did I not want this baby, but every single part me didn't want to be pregnant again. I hated every moment of being pregnant. Even after morning sickness passed, I struggled with sciatic nerve pain and back pain. I never felt well. And then the thought of going through another labor and delivery was just daunting to me. I didn't want to do it. I wanted my baby, but I didn't want to do all the work again. This was my fourth pregnancy in 5 years and my body was so tired. I have been pregnant or nursing for the past 6 years and, selfishly, I just wanted my body back. Not to mention the extreme sleep deprivation.
I was very blessed and fortunate to have my first three babies with no interventions and ALL natural, despite having them all at a hospital. I never even had an IV in my arm. My husband is such a good support and I am so thankful to have him on my team. Of course, I was going into this labor wanting the same thing. After laboring at home for a few hours (I normally stay home as long as possible and am used to laboring for 8-10 hours at home), my contractions got to 3 minutes apart very quickly and I panicked. Thankfully, my mother was already here helping me with kids and my husband was on his way home from work. I shoveled in some dinner (that my wonderful mama made) as fast as I could and took off to the hospital. I was really hoping to just have this baby quickly. Per usual, my contractions slowed a little on the way to the hospital. When we got there I was convinced we would be having the baby soon, but they admitted us at only 4 cm. I was devastated. I always got to the hospital much further along than that. I came back to a consistent 5 minutes apart. So we did what we normally did, walked and walked. Leaning on my sweet hubby during contractions. After a few hours I just got so tired. I just didn't want to do it anymore. I was continuing to progress, but not as fast I was anticipating. Then I called in my midwife and I just had a breakdown. I just mentally wasn't in the game. I couldn't get in it. My husband tried his hardest to convince me that we could do this naturally again. We did it three times before. But I just didn't want to keep going. I was mentally and emotionally weak. I was the one who had to do all the work in the end, I had enough. I was at 7cm when they gave me the epideral. I did have a little scare where I almost passed out, but the nurse quickly got me back on track. Thankfully, the best case scenario happened. I continued to progress the entire time. No need for PIT or any added interventions. I was able to rest on and off. I did have the urge to get up and move around several times, because that is so naturally a part of every labor of mine. After a few hours of "resting" I was ready to push (according to the nurse and midwife). When you have your babies naturally, you feel everything. You just know what to do. You know how to push and where to push from. When you can't feel anything, you have to relearn how to push. You do still feel some pressure, but you don't really know what you are doing. So, after some practice pushes, I figured it out and pushed that baby out in just a few pushes. My husband was able to "catch" L and deliver him, just as he was with some of other children. Logan latched on immediately and breastfeeding went smoothly. The Labor was just around 12 hours, just like most of my others.
At my 6 week check up my midwife asked me if I could go back, would change the way I did anything. I was honest when I told her 'no'. But that doesn't mean I didn't wish I was in a better mental and emotional state to handle a natural birth. I desperately wish I was. I do think, maybe if I was taking better steps to prepare, I could have done it. I have also been asked, that now that I have experienced a natural birth and an epidural, would I ever go back? My answer is ABSOLUTELY. I don't think anyone really believes me, but it is the honest truth. If somehow I got pregnant again, I would do everything I could to have another natural birth. I didn't like that I couldn't move around, or that I couldn't feel what was going on. That I didn't know when to push or how to push. When I have a natural birth, I feel so much more connected to my baby. Like we are in sync. I don't really know how else to explain it. Bottom line, when I have a natural birth, I feel so empowered. Like, if I could just do that, I can do ANYTHING!
Unfortunately, natural birth is not common in our culture. Hospitals and nurses are not trained to help a women through a natural birth with all the tools that they would need to help a woman be successful. If you want a natural birth, you need to be extremely proactive to get proper support and knowledge before you go into it. You can't just go to the hospital and hope for a natural birth. 9 times out of 10, you won't end up with one in the end. That is my honest opinion.
I was afraid that after I had L I would fall into a deeper depression because of my struggles during the pregnancy. But I was actually lifted right out of it. He has been the sweetest, most easy going baby of them all. He is a comforter and sympathetic (even at this young age). He lights up my day, a gift from the Lord, THERAPY FOR MY SOUL, and I wouldn't trade him for anything.
Enjoy these sweet photos:
Sunday, September 7, 2014
|Before. The old oak.|
|See where the old owner's dogs scratched things up.|
|My handy husband fixed that with some bead board and trim :)|
|The madness begins.|
|Things are getting whiter.|
|Time to glaze.|
|Gives it an antique type look.|
|More white! (I guess my pics are a little out of order)|
|Everything put back together.|
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Evelyn Marie was born at 10:23am, March 6th. 7lbs 12 oz, 20 1/2inches (my smallest baby yet). Apparently the nurses voted that we were their favorite labor ever. I was skeptical, but they were insistent. They don't see many natural births....and I guess my attitude was great-ha! If you know me well, you know that is humorous! God was so good to us and kept baby and mama safe. Thanks for all the prayers and support.
Many special thanks to our families who took shifts watching the boys while we were gone. It was great to come home to warm meal, stocked fridge and pantry, bathed children (one with a new haircut) and smiles on every one's faces. I am blessed beyond words.
The boys are absolutely in love with their sister and just can't get enough of her. Gideon loves to hold her and is instant on calling her "silly sally". She says she just doesn't look like an Evelyn...who is this kid? I wonder how long this will last! William loves to kiss her, but needs extreme supervision-ha! All I know is that they both are great big brothers already!
Monday, October 22, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
I admit, I haven't been a great blogger lately. Taking care of an active toddler and a newborn is more work than you can ever anticipate.
I thuroughly enjoyed our Christmas this year. My sister and brother-in-law came up from Georgia for a nice long (but never long enough) visit.
We started Christmas week with a girls baking night. Wish I actually got pictures of all the yummy creations. I made Oreo Truffles, Rice Crispy Treat Snow Balls, and chocolate dipped pretzles. My sisters made various cookies and mom made some homemade fudge.
My finished product w/ homemade felt rosettes.
Christmas Day we got up and went off to church, then we all gathered at my parents' house for out traditional gift exchange. I have to note that I felt my family did a great job with gifts this year and thought there were some very thoughtful gifts given. Makes me want to do better next year.
Unfortunately, a flu bug ran through not only me and the boys, but also my poor sister Michele and mother. Not a great way to end Christmas and bring in the New Year, but thankfully it seems to have passed now.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
It is hard to know where to start with this one. I started having painful contractions 3 weeks before William was born. They would range from a couple an hour to every 15 minutes for a couple hours. Then, they would just die out completely. After a week of that, I woke up one Saturday to contractions that got from 15 to 10 to 5 very quickly. We thought it was time to go to the hospital. They monitored me and I had contractions every 3 minutes in Triag. They addmited me being at 5cm and then after a few hours the contractions completely stopped again! I never thought that I would be one of "those people." Going to the hospital too early or having multiple "false alarms." I thought I knew my body well enough to know when I was going to into labor. I will never judge again! Little did I know it would be another 2 weeks of on and off contractions before the baby would arrive!
The day before I went into "real labor" I had an appointment with my midwife and I was still at 5 cm. We thought it was reasonable to sweep the membranes to try and help things along. I also went to the Chiropractor that afternoon to see if an adjustment would move things along as well. We bought some Castor Oil and that evening we walked the mall. At 3:30 in the morning I started getting intense contractions every 15 minutes apart. Didn't think to wake Byron since I have been going through that for the past 3 weeks. After I woke up around 7:30am and started moving around for the day contractions got closer together and were about every 5minutes. We decided to have my mom come to get Gideon and head to the hospital. After monitoring me at the hospital I was still at 5cm, but 100% efaced. Contractions slowed down to every 7minutes, but once I got in our room and got settled they increased to every 5minutes with increasing intensity. Unfortunately, after hours of this, I had not progressed in dialation. I was completely exhausted at this point and extremely frustrated. We had a talk with our midwife about our options and thought it would be a reasonable thing to break my water bag. This was not our ideal, but being an hour from home and 100% with regular contractions we felt it the best decision for our situation. After she broke my water, contractions got increasingly stronger and closer together. My poor husband's arms may have gotten bruised a little, but he was a trooper and huge support. I eventually started using the birth ball and that helped a little. I started feeling the need to push. I was SO happy to finally be at that point. I was terrified, but excited at the same time. I pushed for maybe 20 minutes and then our baby was born! Another boy! It was about an hour and a half after our midwife broke my water that the baby was in my arms!
I feel so blessed to have been able to have another natural birth (or as natural as it could have been with a minor intervention). The Good Lord has blessed us with two beautiful boys! We are just so happy and having fun figuring out how life works as a family of four.
William is such a relaxed baby compared to Gideon. He totally goes with the flow and tollerates all the hugs and kisses his brother loves to give him. Gideon is doing so well adjusting to the new baby and their our no big signs of jealousy-yet. He helps me throw away diapers, gets me burp cloths, and the like. I also wasn't sure how he would take to me nursing the baby, but he is just fine with it-and doesn't even seem to remember nursing himself just about 5 months ago.
Praising God daily for these two beautiful blessings in our lives.